Jokes About Ducks

Clean Duck Jokes

1. Why did the duck cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
2. What does a duck put in its soup? Quackers.
3. Why was the duck good at making decisions? It always got its ducks in a row.
4. What do ducks watch on television? Duck-umentaries.
5. Why did the duck become a detective? It always quacked the case.
6. What is a duck’s favorite snack at the movies? Pop-quorn.
7. Why did the duck bring an umbrella? The forecast called for fowl weather.
8. What do you call a duck that tells jokes? A wise quacker.
9. Why was the duck late? It got stuck in a traffic quack-up.
10. What does a duck say when ordering lunch? Put it on my bill.
11. Why did the duck sit by the computer? It wanted to keep an eye on the web.
12. What do ducks use to fix things? Duck tape, naturally.
13. Why did the duck join the band? It had excellent drumsticks.
14. What is a duck’s favorite dance? The quack-step.
15. Why did the duck ace the test? It studied every quack of the book.
16. What do you call a duck that loves fireworks? A firequacker.
17. Why did the duck open a bakery? It made excellent bread and quackers.
18. What did one duck say to the other at bedtime? Quack you in the morning.
19. Why was the duck calm during the storm? It knew how to go with the flow.
20. What is a duck’s favorite vegetable? Quack-aroni and peas.
21. Why did the duck carry a pencil? It wanted to draw a good bill.
22. What do ducks say after a great meal? That was egg-cellent.
23. Why did the duck become a lifeguard? It was already good at paddling.
24. What do you call a duck in a fancy suit? A dapper drake.
25. Why did the duck refuse to argue? It did not want to ruffle any feathers.
26. What is a duck’s favorite school subject? Quack-ulus.
27. Why did the duck visit the bank? To check its bill.
28. What do ducks bring to a picnic? Their own quackers.
29. Why was the duck popular? It always made a splash.
30. What did the coach tell the duck team? Keep paddling and stay in formation.

Short Duck One-Liners

• I am feeling absolutely quackers today.
• Keep calm and paddle on.
• That idea really made a splash.
• No need to ruffle any feathers.
• Just wing it.
• Have an egg-cellent day.
• You are one lucky duck.
• Put it on my bill.
• Stay on the bright side of the pond.
• Waddle I do without you?